Before I begin, some news: I managed to buy myself a little time to stay at the current location some members of my family are funding to keep me off the street. While relations remain as frosty as the wicked winter weather that has blown through the Region of Waterloo (Ontario, Canada), I do not have to be out by the 30th of November as I reported in a previous blog post and my GoFundMe initiative page.
I mentioned a while back that one of my concerns from my couchsurfing and my inability to financially support myself was that I needed to make plans if something were to happen to me. Two things I did was draft a will and prepare a last-words video. The other and more pressing concern was the amount of stuff I collected from over half-a-century of being around.
George Carlin may have made a wonderfully hilarious commentary about having SO MUCH STUFF and you NEEDING STUFF TO STORE THE STUFF THAT’S HOLDING YOUR STUFF, but he has a good point. I owned a lot of stuff, stuff that I had no space for in my current location, no longer could financially afford to store, and did not want people to be stuck with in case something happened to me. That latter part is not suicide-talk or depression-speak. Unless I return to full time employment and financial independence, my future is uncertain and my prospects less-than-great. Since all this stuff was meant for a more prosperous lifestyle during happier times and I certainly did not want to stick this on my executors of my estate, something had to be done.
Put succinctly, the stuff had to go.
I had no time to put them up for sale, and I certainly didn’t want to dump all that stuff into a landfill, so I gave it all away and to a very worthy cause: Worth A Second Look. As noted on their website, the store’s “goal is to provide the community with low-cost used furniture and assorted houseware items while keeping reusable goods out of landfills and creating opportunities for employment.”
Creating opportunities for employment? As you can imagine for obvious reasons, that’s something I can get behind.
So what did I give away? I gave away 4 servers and two Xbox consoles that comprised a home network (including the router), a multifunctional scanner/printer, towels and bedsheets (except for what I needed at my place), plates, forks spoons and knives, pots and pans, a large assortment of music CDs and movie DVD, two TVs, a microwave, a portable fridge, coffee mugs and kitchen glasses, clothing I either did not have space for or no longer had space to fit a more rotund me ( 😉 ), lots of books — science fiction, programming reference guides, psychology books, graphic novels and trade paperbacks, shelves, tables, fans, chairs, lamps, a desk, plastic utility cabinets, and some things of sentimental value, in particular a wall clock my Dad gave me as a housewarming gift 25 years ago. That specific giveaway did not sit very well with some family members but what was I supposed to do? I had no room for it. I had no need for it.
It wasn’t easy doing this, giving all of this stuff away. It was like watching a replay of all the good times in your life that happened before you pitched the DVD containing them into the trash. I broke down and cried more often during that shedding of stuff than I did when my Dad died. It’s no wonder that I’m regarding this year as the worst year of my life. It’s a year I desperately want to see the backass of as it comes to a close.
I’m trying to be the logical pragmatist throughout all of this though. I needed to do this to shed some baggage so others do not have to deal with it. The one bright spot is that even though I’m not exactly winning at getting myself out of the hole I’m in despite my best efforts, at least my contributions will go towards helping those in the same boat but have a better chance than I do.
That particular comforting thought is something I can accept and gets me through this time of my life I’ve dubbed the Dark Ages.
Thanks for reading!
David.
davidalangay 
Hey David,
Glad to read that yo managed yourself some extra time where you are residing and perception a further extension is still in the cars yet. Time will tell, I suppose.
Nonetheless, I sympathize with regards to having to shed one’s former years of accumulated possessions as well as sentimental ones. I too experienced the same emotions of melancholy and somewhat of a life review during the discarding of my former life possessions in much the same way you did. And yeah, it was damn hard I tell ya! Although after a time I did realize it was in some ways liberating especially since I would have less stuff to manage during the the process of reinventing myself & restructuring my life due to being downsized out of my job position.
Thus, I also like you, had to move out of my Toronto downtown bachelor studio that I had interior decorated with iKea furnishing comforts & lifestyle whatnots that I had become quite acclimatized to for over a decade. So it was all quite a game-changer , for sure! So I again relate to all what you are saying.
However, I suppose all we can do under such circumstances is try to keep in mind that nothing bad last forever and many times its darkest before the light. I know I experienced that plenty. One day at a time David, that’s all any of us can do. 😎
Until next time, take care …
Ed
Hi Ed. Thanks for the comments. I’m sorry you went through the same shedding of stuff. I know it was for the right reasons though. Your advice to take things day-by-day is a good one. My attitude at this point is if I make it to next morning then I am grateful because it gives me another try at getting things back on track.
Thanks for reading and your support as always!