Just as historians struggled to agree on when the Dark Ages began, I am unsure when the Dark Ages era of my life started. Perhaps it was when I lost my apartment back in October of 2013 after a lengthy period of unemployment. Maybe it was when I became a couchsurfer in April 2014 because I could not find work in Kitchener, Ontario. Perhaps that moment began when a friend of mine told me she could not host me any more in August 2014. I’m still unsure even at this moment of writing. I guess I’ll say it started the day I decided not to log on to Facebook any more.
I was at the logon prompt of Facebook, ready to sign in, when I realized I didn’t want to. I asked myself what was the point anymore in doing so. I was a person of no fixed address, no full time job, and half the people on my Facebook friends list couldn’t care less. I stopped playing the social games because I was too busy pleading with others to host me and help me (for all the good that did me).
So, I decided I was done with it. I wasn’t going to delete my page, since I’ve already deleted a previous Facebook page before only to recreate it again. I was going to change the Email field and then scramble the password so I could never log on again, not even ask for a password reset. So, after doing just that, I posted a goodbye to my friends and logged off for the last time. I made sure I could not log again on through my Chromebook and my smartphone.
I look back over my life and asked myself how on earth did I get to this point. I went to college and graduated at the top third of my graduation year, never did drugs or abused alcohol, never been arrested, have no criminal record, and was a good friend and family member. I was responsible enough to helm a successful 20 year career in the Information Technology field and handle hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of software and hardware. I was not fired from my last job. Despite all this, I’m unemployed, without a home, and am borderline homeless on the doorstep of winter.
This is indeed my version of the Dark Ages. No progress, no hope, no future. I even said my sister the day before that this is probably how things are going to be until my last day of my life. What a depressing thought, but it is in my case an actual reality. This is it, and as good as it will ever get.
It is for this reason why I changed my blog’s purpose from one that used to showcase my job-search to something that allows me to share with you, my readers, how I’m coping with this new phase of my life. Some days will be good ones, and some will be bad. Pretty much like regular everyday life, I suppose, just without income and a home.
Thanks for reading!