WARNING: POTTY MOUTH AND REALLY BAD MOOD AHEAD!
A soon-to-be ex-tenant apparently did not take kindly to my absolutely wonderful landlord (no sarcasm, he really is a nice guy) withholding his last month’s rent due to numerous violations of his lease agreement.
Actually the more accurate description might be, “he lost his cosmic shit”.
He totalled drywall ordered by my landlord by tossing it down the stairs (see picture), he cut the power cords to the fridge and stove, submerged the Wi-Fi router underwater, and pee’d all over the bathroom floor (which I was the lucky lad to clean up).
Not before he threatened to beat up my landlord first. My landlord escaped that fate by running out of the house and dialing 911 at a neighbour’s house.
For the record, I do hope the day comes where my landlord catches up with this sorry fucker, with police and lawyers in tow. I really hope my landlord sues that ex-tenant’s sorry Infowar loving arse, and throws him into a jail where some hulking jailbrute named Thorne uses him to relieve a carnal need in the most painful and bleedful way.
There. I’ve said it. Don’t hate me for saying it either. You see, this is the life of low-income folk who have to live in shared accommodations, and sometimes even friends and family members of mine don’t seem to get the crap we go through to get through life like this.
In fact, it gets me so fucking mad every time I have to put up with their indifference and holier-than-thou attitude, especially when hearing about it upsets them more than it upsets me.
And I was really fucking upset at first.
Why am I so upset, you ask? This incident has hit me really hard. I won’t get into the details of what it has cost me, what I’ve lost, and what it is making me feel right now, but rest assured, in addition to the damage my landlord has to pay for, I took a financial hit and it was a big one. What I need to replace is going to leave a big hole in my wallet and take up a lot of time. This is a massive fucking setback.
Yet the people I mention think this is more about them than me, so they do not want to hear about it. Worse, they tell me to make sure other people do not hear about it because it will upset THEM too.
Good fucking grief, yet I play their game because, you know, they’re friends and family. When I have to talk about something like, you know, today’s shitfest, over the phone, I have to excuse myself to a private area to make the call so I don’t upset anyone in earshot. 99% of the time it works. No one knows my shameful secret.
Today, the 1% of the time where it does not work happened and someone overheard. You know that old shampoo commercial where they told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on and so on and so on? Well, someone overheard and told a member of my family.
Well, FUCK me, did I get an earful. I was told by that one member of my family that in future not to make such a terrible mistake again because it UPSETS them and could make them sick.
Well! How I wanted to say to this person, “EXCUSE FUCKING ME for having a crappy situation in life. PARDON MY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE SELF for being behind the 8-Ball due to COVID-19 where I can’t earn as much money and have a nice shiny house like you!”.
How I just wanted to tear a new hole out of that person for thinking of their discomfort over hearing about MY fricking misfortune instead of offering sympathy or support. You know, like what a normal human being is supposed to feel.
But something else happened. Something unexpected. Something I think is going to happen again and again the next time I have to deal with friends and family members who simply don’t get it.
I simply said to myself, “Okay” and very calmly deleted that person’s contact information off my Email and my web-based texting service. I didn’t swear, or grit my teeth while pounding on the keys on my laptop and the buttons on my mouse to carry out the task. I was unbelievably calm, like what you would feel standing in a farmer’s field on a spring day. Not happy or euphoric, more like your emotions at an even keel. An understanding that sometimes you just shrug your shoulders and accept the things you cannot change and then let it go.
I also felt a massive weight lift from my chest and shoulders. My relationship with that person was something strained to begin with before my misfortunes began during the Great Recession of 2008-2009, but became toxic as time went on. We’ve tried three times to make up, or at least agree to disagree, but each time that failed and we both went back to our separate mad corner of the world, and years pass in silence thereafter.
This time it’s different. I don’t want to do the rodeo ride again with this person, but I’m not walking away mad. I’m walking away with an “Okay” frame of mind. I can’t change this person. I can’t make this person understand my world, and most important, I can’t play anymore their perceived role of villain because my misfortune somehow pisses them and the people they care about off.
It’s just —- okay.
Thanks for reading.
P.S. I’ll admit this is a depature from a previous post where I felt it was important to mend fences in case my situation brings me to an early end. In that post, I stated I hate things being left unsaid but I’m getting to the realization where maybe that doesn’t matter if people simply refuse to listen, or just see things from the comfort of their personal convenience rather than the bare truth.